Why This Exists

It exists because i say it does. Because I miss my friend Lori. She was more than a friend, but less than a something else.

No matter the details that left me standing on this edge.

Now I'm somewhere else, listening to sad music, and I'm not 15 or 20 or even 25 anymore. I'm too old for this type of melancholy I think.

I mailed her a letter last week. A hand-written 4 page letter in fact. In it, I expressed how much I miss her, and exactly what she meant to me. I apologized for the letter being 6 years or so late. I wrote it at work, walked it over to the post office. I didn't think I'd mail it. I really didn't. I mean, I intended to, obviously (hence the stamp and envelope), but I thought I'd do the safe thing. Not send it. Tuck it away some where, along with my feelings. Be the better person. Be who I think I'm supposed to be. But that's not who I am inside. I don't have time for this.

As the song says, "It's gonna be a glorious day, I feel my luck could change..."

Pull me out of the aircrash, pull me out of the lake, because I'm your superhero.

More to come, this should be interesting, if not entirely horrible to watch go down.